To love and be loved back is one of the greatest feelings one could ever experience in their lifetime. It comes to you unexpectedly, it is quiet yet grand – all at the same time. You thank the universe for letting you cross paths. It is almost magical and suddenly everything reminds you of them. Their voice becomes a symphony and the majority of love songs seem to resonate to your partner or your relationship to the point where it almost seems cheesy. It feels like you can take on anything.
A Quick Look into the Dating Stages
The initial stage, infatuation, is where your partner can do no wrong and everything is cutesy. Both of you acknowledge your attraction for each other in physical or emotional means. This phenomenon is considered the honeymoon effect.
Subsequently followed by things becoming more exclusive and casual discussions of a possible future together. The butterflies are still very much present at this level.
The next period is realization. One or both parties slowly retreat back to ‘reality’. The intense high you felt from the beginning is no longer there. Something has changed and you cannot simply put your finger on what it is. Perhaps, you have been putting your partner on a pedestal for months and now you are finally seeing him/her for who they truly are. The romanticized version of them you created in your head is gone.
Like most things in life, relationships are not as easy and straightforward as we would like it to be. Particularly when it comes to romantic connections. Each and everyone of us are continuously influenced differently through the media we consume, the culture, and environment we grew up in, and/or peers that we surround ourselves with. The way your significant other thinks, feels and behaves may not always be in tune with you. Consequently, there will be disagreements and a whole lot of “meeting halfways” in order to reach a consensus.
There will be obstacles and circumstances that you and your beau will inevitably go through. A New York University study suggests that the idealized version of the accord will subside after 30 months. The rose-colored glasses will eventually wear off after the said ‘honeymoon’ phase. When this occurs, you begin to notice the flaws and you ponder if there is a common goal both of you wish to grasp.
Although it seems like it is a make-or-break situation, it is important that this stage is attained so as to progress into having a deeper bond or – for the betterment of both parties, to part ways.
If the two of you decide that despite all odds, you would still choose one another (again and again), then things could eventually lead to a more formal commitment. Long-term plans such as an engagement or marriage could surface. Leading up to this point can feel cathartic and even more euphoric as before because it feels like an accomplishment or a milestone.
Knowing Their Love Language
There are a myriad of ways to show endearment but the simplest way to understand how an individual wants to be loved and spoiled, is to understand and recognize their love language.
According to Dr Gary Chapman, there are 5 love languages. They are; words of affirmation, physical affection, acts of service, quality time, and giving/receiving gifts. They allow you to fulfil and exceed your lover’s emotional wants and needs. By positively acknowledging these, there will be a deeper sense of mutual understanding between you and your person.
If your relationship is advancing onto matrimony, then looking into their love language may be of help to you. For example, if your significant other’s love language is receiving gifts then the best move is to purchase custom-made engagement rings for the proposal. Engagement rings symbolise a lifelong promise and devotion to one another. Since they are fond of personalized gifts, they will appreciate this sentiment wholeheartedly. Taking this extra step into customizing the ring will further proclaim and reinforce the lengths of your love for them.
A Conscious Choice
Love is not just a feeling, but also, a deliberate choice which you choose. Similar to the choosing of rings, it should be personal and distinctive to the collective. It is not as arbitrary as you make it seem to be. You make that conscious decision everyday to consistently put in the effort to show your partner unconditional love which they deserve. For the lucky ones, they manage to accept each other’s shortcomings and find ways to resolve issues that arise.
Spending a lifetime together with someone seems quite daunting but if you find a person that alleviates that fear, then he/she is a special commodity. That level of intimacy and viability is an envy to some people as not everyone is blessed to experience such a love.