Created: April 12, 2022

Modified: Jun 26, 2022, 18:17

Last modified: Feb 22, 2023, 14:16

 

I disregard her calls and texts with 
ease 
But her smile, once beautiful, now 
makes me freeze 
For I've seen the truth behind that 
crooked grin 
And I wish I could erase the memory 
within

"It only happened a few times," she says 
As if the words could make my 
worries fade 
But my mind races, spinning in fear 
That the monster will again appear

Normally, I'm strong and can defend 
But at that moment, I was broken, 
unable to mend 
"I didn't mean it, come back!" 
she cried But her words were empty, a hollow 
lie

That crooked smile once full of charm 
Now hides deceit, causing great harm 
Believe her lies and your soul will pay 
the toll 
Leaving you like a tree in winter, bare and 
cold.

Created: Jun. 9, 2022
Last modified: Jun. 26, 2022, 8:12

 

I’m beginning to get addicted
to the sensation of
being let down,
It’s becoming an addiction
That I can’t seem to shake

you construct a castle
however, you provide me with no room
to be me
to experience me

I don’t hold hatred toward you
It’s fear that grips me tight
and you’re making me live by
coaching me that love
And fear are one and the same

am I a trophy won
am I a crown that you wear
am I a flower
you add to your garden
am I shining
like gold
for your eyes

If you returned everything
that you took from me,
I wouldn’t even want it back.

you’re poisonous
to all you touch,
your arms rough
with abuse,
tongue laced
with antipathy-
each word
Another falsity.

 

Created: Jun 1, 2019,
Last modified: Feb. 18, 2023

The whispers in our minds
are a toxic lure
urging us to give up
to suffer in obscure
they say no one will ever
comprehend the pain we bear
condemning us as feeble
for shedding tears in despair

As our wounds begin to bleed
from the cuts that we’ve just made
we gaze at old scars, still raw
a constant reminder of our tirade
their voices so cruel
never ceasing to torment
haunting us without release
as we yearn for a peaceful moment

Their whispers in a tongue unknown
yet we understand every tone
they coax us to do their bidding
to grab the blade and start the cutting
a taboo we dare not share
this dark deed, our cross to bear.

Created: May 19, 2019

Last Modified: May 10, 2020, 14:45

In a room dark as night
A child sitting in her chair
The room smells of utter despair
Locked in the room guarded by infantry
She’s been in there for centuries

She banged on the door
A whisper she hears and nothing more
“Sad child what shall you do
Locked in a room wondering who”

I’m an errand boy with a mask of cinders
I have come to free you from your heartless sinners

Behind my mask is a painful sight
I still push through with all my might.
Take this mask, hide who you are
Together we can cloak who we are

Our mask is perfect:
With this blood pact, we share
We live in the crypts ready to scare
And now we crumble your hateful wits

You can’t hurt us anymore so
Now we are one and you are done.

Created: May 23, 2020
Last modified: Sep 1, 2020, 12:49

I have worn a covering,
a shroud.
I have hidden it for you.

Yet, the second I show who I am,
you step back.
concerned.

I’m not minacious.
I’m not violent.
I’m not comminatory.

I’m insecure,
I’m sketchy.
I’m exposed.

in the slightest chance that you don’t adore me,
step away.
draw nearer to the edge.

Just say for once and for all that you don’t
need me…
move

farther away
this is you
giving me who you truly are…

step away.

Created: June 26, 2022

Modifications: None

Needed knowledge:

red= strength

Blue= weakness

Purple= weakness and strength talking together
or strength controlling (Darker red) weaknesses speech.

Dark yellow= host speech

 

Don’t speak of weakness
This play is mine and I’ll run it
To my tune

He cuts his mental day short
And now is acting like a clog
In the spokes

Such atrocities he once felt weird.
Now all of a sudden, he wants to happen-

“Through all the mental breakdowns I’ve taken.
I always thought committing such a sin is weird, but after thinking about it.
It may not be such a bad choice.
I won’t have to write out this play we three run in.
You could find a new host to help.”

 

He speaks.
What bullshitt
He’s a hypocrite.
A charlatan
A bigot
A bloody Dissimulator

After all this time he finally
decides he wants to die by his own hands.
The same hands that call this act PUTRID.

It’s these damn poems he writes. Instead
of getting another therapist he just shuts
himself into his gray cave and writes until he
thinks the pain is gone.

It’s not gone, and it’ll never leave.
His bleeding pleads will never succeed.
He’s a failure we have brought through trial.

And bloody fucking trial time
And time again
But no let him…

He’ll change his mind.
He’s the reason why the dreams he has of
being killed feel so real.
Disgusting he imagines his dear friends.
pulling the trigger

Slitting his throat
Silencing his breath

When behind that veil
Is his ugly mug doing every deed?

But fine we’ll leave with this message of truth.
so, it’ll speak through his mouth and he’ll
know who wrote it as it’ll be the last thing, he
reads

I hope you.
can see it in the way we look at you.
Disappointment
Disappointment
Disappointment
We (well I) tried to warn you.
We are not what you think we are.
You are a failure whose seeds have long.
sprouted
The only thing you are good at is being a
dissimulator and a disappointment.

Characters involved.

———— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —

Created: May 15, 2019

Last modified: May 19, 2019

In this life
I once felt hope.
I sometimes still believe in this,
but each moment a little less.
I feel abandoned in my despair,
and it’s difficult to repair.
I get broken more each day some more,
keeping these emotions in my core.
I find myself hiding behind this smile,
the one that shows my denial.
I have thoughts of lonesomeness,
which no person should possess.
I camouflage this so well;
it feels like I’m in hell.

I hurt on the inside,
trying to push these demons aside.
I want something better,
to not feel all this terror.
I know it can be manageable;
some things make life tolerable.
I just cannot find the thrill,
like when I was a child with a one-dollar bill.
I remember when dreams were imaginable,
but now it feels like I’m undoubtedly fallible.
I wish to find myself soon.
This feels as if I’m trapped in a cocoon.
I would like to hatch,
not be so detached.
I need to end this coldness,
before death leaves me soulless.

Created: March 24, 2019

Modified: Feb 21, 2023, 23:55

Stop it. Whatever it is that you do.
Makes me reconsider pulling myself away from you
I want to be gone,
cut off from your world,
but with each smile and laugh, my emotions are swirled.
I’d wave my scepter over you until you were dead I knew that was wrong but it felt so right.
I couldn’t live without you in pain.
Living life with so much strain.

I don’t hate you,
I don’t care for you,
I don’t love you,
I simply despise you and your very existence,
this is my chamber of hate and mystery,
once you go in there will be nothing but darkness knives they’ll use will be the sharpest.
I have friends from the other side and they will do nothing but abide by my calling, your screams will be calling for help,
but there is no help on the other side.
It’s almost funny that the person in that desolate chamber is no one else but me in a form of weakness and utter worthlessness,
biding its time waiting to be released.

 

Created: 23/ 1/ 31

Modified: 23/ 2/ 13

Lilith
Destcuca

You’re nervous
A bit of a wreck
But you never fail to smile at yourself when you mess up
As you always do

You’re damaged
That much is clear
But your smooth laugh puts the whole room at ease
No matter how scarcely it surfaces
You’ve been hurt by everyone
Yourself included-
But you’d rather die
Then put someone down
Because you truly believe every achievement is worth all the stars in the sky

You’re quiet
Sometimes it’s a little annoying
But who can blame you
You mean no harm

You’re self-conscious.
I mean aren’t we all?
But you put everyone else back together.
so, they can’t resist loving themselves a little more.
Forgetting you were their light of restoration
No matter how much.
You try
You’ll only be a distant memory
You Stupid
Stupid
Boy

Hate yourself!
And drown in your blood-shaven pages