Sad/Dark

The Allure of Darkness

The mind can be a treacherous place,
A labyrinth of thoughts we can’t erase,
And when the weight of life bears down,
The thought of suicide can sometimes be found.

It’s a comfort in the midst of pain,
A way to end the suffering and the strain,
And though it may seem like an escape,
It’s a choice that we cannot take.

For life is a precious gift to hold,
Even when the night seems uncontrolled,
And though the darkness may be deep,
The light of hope is always there to keep.

Yet the thought of suicide can be alluring,
A beacon of relief that’s reassuring,
And though we may be consumed by despair,
There’s always someone who will care.

For we are not alone in this world,
And our troubles are not forever unfurled,
So when the night seems dark and long,
We must hold on and stay strong.

For the thought of suicide may be a comfort,
But it’s not the answer that we ought to court,
And though the road ahead may be tough,
We can make it through when we’ve had enough.

So let us each find a way to cope,
And hold on to the fragile strands of hope,
For the night may be dark, but the dawn will come,
And with it, a new day to overcome.

 

 

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

The Endless Cycle

 

Poem request from Milaxu: Wanted me to use a random quote from Friedrich Nietzsche

In the depths of our loneliest hours,
When the world around us seems to devour,
A demon may come and whisper in our ear,
Of a fate that fills our hearts with fear.

The thought of living this life once more,
And endless cycles to endure,
Can crush the spirit and break the soul,
And leave us feeling utterly alone.

For what is the point of this endless game,
If we must relive the pain and the shame,
And face the same battles over and again,
With no hope of ever breaking free from sin?

Yet, perhaps in a moment of divine clarity,
We may see the beauty in this disparity,
And embrace the chance to live once more,
To seek redemption and love and so much more.

For though the weight of this knowledge is great,
And the thought of living again may cause us to shake,
There is still a glimmer of hope to hold,
And a chance to rewrite our story and be bold.

So let us not curse the demon who speaks,
But instead, find the strength to seek,
A life worth living, a legacy to leave,
And the chance to our demons to deceive.

For in this endless cycle, there is still light,
A hope that shines through the darkest night,
And though the road may be long and hard,
We can find a way to play our part.

And in the end, when our journey is done,
We may find that this life was not so tragic after all,
But a beautiful tapestry of joy and pain,
Woven together in a grand refrain.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Das Gewicht des Verlustes

As I struggle to make sense of it all,
The weight of grief and loss takes its toll,
And though I try to find a way to cope,
It seems that every ray of hope elopes.

The darkness deepens, as I contemplate,
The fragility of life and its uncertain fate,
And the emptiness that each loss leaves behind,
Is a reminder of the fragility of the human mind.

It’s as if I’m trapped in a never-ending storm,
Each wave crashing against me, leaving me forlorn,
And though I try to stay afloat,
The weight of sadness drags me down the moat.

So I sit and stare into the abyss,
As I ponder on the things that I miss,
And wonder if there’s any way to escape,
This pain that seems to always take shape.

But as the days go by, and the grief lingers on,
I realize that perhaps there’s no way to be reborn,
For loss is a part of life that we all must face,
And it’s a reminder that nothing in this world is in place.

So I’ll carry on, with each passing day,
And though the sadness may never fully go away,
I’ll hold onto the memories that we shared,
And find solace in the love that was there.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Vanishing Time

Created: April 1, 2023

Life slips away, like sand through my fingers,
An endless stream of moments that linger, 
Each passing day a reminder of time, 
And the fleeting nature of our earthly climb.

As I watch the world around me fade, 
And the shadows grow longer in the glade, 
I can't help but feel a sense of loss, 
For all the moments that I'll never again cross.

The people I've known and loved so dear, 
Are slipping away with each passing year, 
And though I try to hold on tight, 
They slip away like stars in the night.

And even as I try to cling, 
To the memories that keep them from leaving, 
I know that time will keep moving on, 
And they'll be gone before too long.

But in the midst of all this pain, 
I try to find hope and strength to sustain, 
For though life may be fleeting and brief, 
There's still beauty in this world, beyond belief.

So I'll keep pressing on, with all my might, 
And cherish every moment in my sight, 
For though life may disappear from view, 
I'll hold onto its beauty, forever true.

Context: The poem "Vanishing Time" is about the fleeting nature of life and the passing of time. The speaker reflects on how each passing day is a reminder of time and how life slips away like sand through their fingers. They feel a sense of loss for the moments and people they have loved and lost. The poem conveys the message that even though life may be brief and fleeting,there is still beauty in the world that can be cherished and held onto forever. The speaker tries to find hope and strength to sustain them through the pain of loss, 
and they vow to press on and cherish every moment in their sight.
Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Мистер Слит

Created: June 24, 2022

 

Мистер Слит came to visit me today.

He wrapped me in pain, cradled me with
sorrow
and told me not to wait till tomorrow
it is time he said.

He told me to follow his lead
Count to three
And not to look back
There's nothing left here for me
but pain
He said with him I'd be free
Free like birds flying in the summer breeze.

Oh, Мистер Слит
you do make a good offer
I could play with the other lost kids all winter
and summer.

Just a second I'll be there in a few
Just need to pack a thing or two
My existence is forlorn.

From my body, I am torn.
Withered and stripped,
My soul is worn.

Inside brews an endless storm.
Oh how I long to be no more

Context: The poem “Мистер Слит came to visit me today” is a dark and melancholic piece that reflects the speaker’s desire to escape from their current state of pain and sorrow. The poem personifies “Mr. Slit” as a tempting figure who offers the speaker freedom from their suffering. The speaker is considering the offer and appears to be ready to accept it, as they feel forlorn and torn from their body. The final line of the poem suggests a desire to end their existence and be at peace. The poem explores themes of depression, despair, and the desire for release from emotional pain.

 

 

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Whatever happens, I can make it better? (Revamped)

I’m a soul of anger,
Covered in sheep’s clothing,
Feared by many, accepted by some,
Locked out of Jesus’s kingdom come.

Burial stones surround me,
Reminding me of life’s finality,
The earth feels dirty, and my vision
blurry,
Did I take the right path or the path of
misery?

But I refuse to be held captive
By my past or my fears,
I’ll forge my own path,
And wipe away my tears.

With each step I take,
I’ll channel my age right,
I won’t let it control me,
Or give up without a fight.

No matter how many times I fall,
I’ll rise up again,
For I am the captain of my soul,
And my future is mine to attain.

 

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Indesiderati

Indesiderati.

A cold, sharp word,
A jagged edge that cuts
Through my heart.

Indesiderati.

A weight that bears down,
Heavy and suffocating,
Crushing my spirit.

Indesiderati

A dark, empty space,
A void that swallows me whole,
Leaving me lost.

Unwanted.

I try to reach out,
To find connection,
But my efforts are in vain.

Indesiderati

Alone and forgotten,
I am left to wonder
Why I am unwanted.

Indesiderati.

A word that echoes,
A haunting reminder
Of my pain.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Loathing Who You Are

Created: February 3, 2022

I asked you why you loathe who you are
And you poured out your heart, oh so raw
For years you felt like a burden, a flaw
And put others in positions of shame and awe

You wanted to be a good person, you said
But felt like you were walking on eggshells instead
You went on autopilot to make friends, instead
But it left you feeling empty and filled with dread

I listened as you spoke of trauma and pain
Of feeling chained to a line that kept changing again
Of being held back and treated like a stain
And struggling to trust others without restraint

But I offered you a helping hand
To work through your feelings and help you understand
Together we can heal and build new strands
Of healthier relationships that you can command

So let us continue this conversation, my friend
And journey together to a brighter, happier end
For you deserve to love who you are, without pretend
And embrace the beauty and worth that lies within.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

The Consequences of Choice (Only way using Revamped)

Created Aug 25, 2019

1st modification: Feb 7, 2022, 22:01

Last revision: Feb 27, 2023, 18:45

 

Endless time stretches out before me
Days upon days with no end I can see I'm lost in a sea of moments, 
trying to find my way But time marches on, and I'm forced to play.

I used to fill the hours with games and dreams
But now I'm drowning in endless streams Of time 
that seems to have no end Leaving me lost, with no way to amend.
Two people tied to me by fate Their eyes say no, 
but their hearts can't escape The guilt I feel tears me apart A wretch, 
tormented, with a broken heart.

They say that before we take our last breath Our life flashes before our eyes, 
a moment of death So I ask myself, 
what kind of life do I want to see? 
One full of pain or one that's free?

Did I plan to bring pain upon others with my life? 
Or did I choose to end it all with a knife? 
The consequences of choice are hard to bear A life full of regret,
 a cross to bear.

I once believed they cared for me 
But now I see that it wasn't meant to be 
Letting them in was a mistake And now I pay for it, 
my heart does ache.

Endless time, 
a curse and a blessing A reminder 
that life is a lesson Of choices made and paths not taken 
A journey that leaves us both shaken and awakened.
Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Hinengaro taumaha (Burdened Mind)

Created Oct. 10, 2022,
Last modified: Feb 16, 2023, 14:40

I said it’s not that you don’t care
It’s that I don’t need to care
‘Cause nobody truly cares about me

I said it’s not that you don’t love
It’s that I don’t need love
‘Cause nobody truly loves me

Not the real me
Nobody knows me
Not the real me
Nobody knows me

Inside I want to die
But I stay alive

In touch with your mood
I move around you
I never damage your web

In tune with your head
I play your muse
Never off-track, instead,

I don’t exist I
Only exist in my mind
I don’t enjoy I
Only enjoy my mind

In this world of masks and lies I feel lost,
I can’t disguise
The pain I hold inside

But I keep going,
day by day Hoping that somehow,
someway Things will get better,
and I’ll find my way

I know it’s hard to understand The way I feel,
the way I am But I need to be true to myself,
to be free

And even though I might seem cold
I have a story that’s yet untold And someday,
I hope someone will see

The real me, the one inside The one that I’ve been trying to hide, And maybe,
just maybe,
they’ll care and love me.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment