inner struggles

Conversations of Integration

23/08/14

 

Dr. Seraphina Rivers, with gentle concern,
Speaks to her patient, these lessons to 
discern.
"Within you, dear one, reside various selves,
Each with their own desires and stories to 
delve.

The one who sabotaged the relationship's 
domain, May not be the sole voice, let me 
explain.
Suppressing others breeds a hungry beast,
Whose only goal is to devour, to feast.

Listen, embrace, and understand them all, 
For in their harmony, healing shall befall.
Release the cage, let each voice be heard,
Discover the wisdom within, untamed and 
stirred.

By integrating these aspects, you'll find a 
way,
To reason, to heal, and lead a brighter day.
Acknowledge their needs, their desires true,
And through self-compassion, find a 
breakthrough.

No longer adversaries, but parts to embrace, 
Unite them in harmony, find a 
sacred space.
For your true power lies in integration's art, 
Dr. Seraphina Rivers, guiding your heart.

Together we'll navigate this inner terrain,
Embracing your characters, releasing the 
strain.
Let not the hungry beast control your mind, 
But unite your selves, a harmony defined.

With patience and self -discovery you shall 
find,
Integration and healing, an enlightened 
mind.
Dr Seraphina Rivers, here to guide your 
quest,
Embrace your inner characters, and find 
your best."
Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Longing for the Void

In the depths of silence, a Longing Burns,
To Embrace the void, where Anger Churns,
Where shadows Dance, and echoes Fade,
Alone with myself, In A Rage Unswayed.

In this realm of emptiness, I find release,
No masks to wear, no pretense, no peace,
Just the raw essence of fury untamed,
A solitary soul, with anger inflamed.

No judgment here, no prying eyes,
No need to hide the seething cries,
In the void, I'm free to just be,
To vent, to roar, to set myself free.

No need to conform to the world's design,
In the silence, rage and truth align,
To unleash the depths of my soul's disdain,
To find the strength to embrace the pain.

I long for the void, where time suspends,
No distractions, no ties, no amends,
In the stillness, my heart finds its song,
A symphony of solitude, angry and strong.

To wander unbound through vast cosmic 
dust,
In the solitude, I learn to trust,
To face myself, my wrath, my tears,
To embrace the rage without any fears.

No one around to judge or compare,
In the void, I'm free from the world's cold 
stare,
I'll seek solace there, where stars shine 
bright,
And unleash the fury, both day and night.

For in the void, I find my truest me,
Unburdened, unbound, unfettered, and 
free,
A dance of rage, a solitary thrust,
In the boundless void, I find my trust.
Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Art vs Expectations

In a world where dreams were cast aside,
My artistic fire began to hide.
The people around me, their doubts grew strong,
"Study harder, child, don't you want to belong?"

Ambitions suppressed, I followed their lead,
Achieving straight A's, fulfilling their creed.
But empty was my heart, devoid of delight, 
For I craved the canvas, the colors so bright.

High school arrived, my facade crumbled fast,
Grades slipped away, like grains in an hourglass.
Yet within the chaos, a spark reappeared, 
1 picked up my pencil, my passion revered.

Years lost, creativity held in chains, 
But I embraced art, despite the pains.
And amidst the struggle, a glimmer of hope, 
For my mother's support, like a lifeline, she'd rope.

Yet weary I grew, tired of pretense,
Of family's false pride, their shallow defense.
Demanding my work, their voices would persist, 
But their words felt hollow, a mocking twist.

So now I break free, from their expectations,
Seeking my path, defying frustrations.
For art is my essence, my soul's sweet release,
Not measured by praise or societal peace.

I'll paint with resilience, my spirit aflame,
With strokes of passion, I'II etch my own name.
No longer bound by their doubtful embrace,
I'll forge my own destiny, in colors I trace.

For true fulfillment lies in following my heart,
In art's vast canvas, I'll find my true art.
No more seeking validation or lies to appease,
I’ll paint my own masterpiece, my soul's masterpiece.
Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Delusions

A kid in his room sitting down in front of his mirror alone in his room tower placed in a deep forest.  No contact from another human but a whisper from an otherworldly being whispers in his ear “You don’t feel yourself. Is it because you’re pretending to be someone else?”. The creature has always been there but the kid chose to ignore it until today when he finally broke.

 

In a room, a child sits alone,
Before the mirror, a reflection unknown.
A tower in the depths of a forest so deep,
Isolation blankets, their secrets to keep.

No human contact, a soul disconnected,
Yet a whisper arrives, from realms undetected.
An otherworldly being, always by their side,
Now beckoning, no longer denied.

“You don’t feel yourself,” the whisper cries,
“Is it because you wear a mask of lies?”
For too long, the child ignored this presence,
But today, their facade crumbles in essence.

A creature unseen, always watching with care,
Now embraced by the child’s desperate despair.
The walls built tall, now come crashing down,
As authenticity rises from a hidden crown.

The child’s tears, like rivers, start to flow,
Revealing emotions long kept in shadow.
No longer pretending, the truth takes its hold,
A journey within, a story yet untold.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Embracing Redemption: A Journey from Self-Harm to Self-Love

Ever since I was a child. I convinced myself that I needed to hurt myself in order to punish myself for anything going wrong in my life. But then… I remembered you.

 

In the depths of my soul’s darkest hue,
Lies a tale of pain and self-undoing, true.
Since childhood’s days, I believed the lie,
That self-inflicted harm would make wrongs right.

A twisted belief took hold within,
That punishment was the path to absolution’s kin.
But in a moment’s grace, you came to mind,
A memory resurfaced, gentle and kind.

You, the beacon of love and light,
The one who showed me a different sight.
In your presence, my heart would soar,
And thoughts of self-harm would haunt no more.

For in your embrace, I found solace rare,
A love that whispered, “You’re worthy, fair.”
The chains of self-punishment began to break,
As your memory helped my soul awake.

No longer bound by the cycle of pain,
I started to heal, to rise, to regain.
You reminded me of the beauty I possess,
And that self-love is the path to progress.

So, as I leave behind the shadows of past,
A new journey begins, one that will last.
With gratitude, I hold your memory dear,
For helping me break free from self-inflicted fear.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Unbeatable Insanity’s Me

Prompt: (Female) Veratine, Goddess Of The Insane

Prompt statement:

“I’m unbeatable. I can’t be beaten. My insanity makes such things impossible. You can condemn me. You can damage me. (menacing smile as the blood drip from her eyes) You never ever going to beat me.”

In realms untamed, where darkness dwells,
There reigns a goddess, Veratine she tells,
A tempest wild, her mind’s domain,
Unleashing madness, driving mortals
insane.

With maddened laughter, her voice does
ring,
A symphony of chaos, an unholy hymn she
sings,
Her presence fierce, a tempestuous storm,
Defying reason, defying all norms.

“I’m unbeatable,” she proclaims with pride,
A twisted grin, blood tears she cannot hide,
Her sanity shattered, a shattered glass,
She revels in madness, her dominion to
amass.

Condemn her, wound her, try as you may,
Her spirit untamed, it refuses to sway,
For insanity is her armor, her shield,
In its depths, her power concealed.

With every step, she dances on the edge,
Where darkness and light forever pledge,
A malevolent force, she weaves her art,
Binding souls, tearing worlds apart.

Beware, mortals, when her gaze meets
yours,
Her eyes aflame, a madness that endures,
For in her realm, your reason will fray,
Lost in her labyrinth, forever to stay.

She dares you to challenge, to face her
might,
Yet victory eludes, vanishing from sight,
For her insanity, a cloak so profound,
In its depths, true strength is found.

So, tremble in awe, before her divine,
Veratine, the goddess, her essence malign,
For she cannot be beaten, she cannot be
tamed,
In her chaotic realm, her power remains
untamed.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Passionate Love’s Delica

1st version.

Prompt: Conversation between a couple:

Prompt Convo:

Itreya: (unfazed) Don’t get to fucking confident. You don’t wanna be treated like your ex did you right?

Zenim: (Truma Relapse).

Itreya: (Approving smile) That’s right go back to being the little submissive man I love.

In the realm of whispers, a couple engaged,
Itreya spoke, unyielding, unfazed.
"Don't grow too confident, my dear," she 
proclaimed,
"Remember your ex's treatment, it's not what 
you craved."

Zenim, in a moment, a relapse of trauma,
The wounds reopened, sorrowful drama.
Yet Itreya's smile, approving and grand,
Brought solace and comfort, like a loving 
hand.

Back to being the little submissive man,
Zenim returned, as Itreya's grand plan.
For in their dance, a delicate balance above,
Their love, their power, intertwined like a 
dove.

2nd version.
Prompt Convo:

Zenim: (Unfazed) Don’t let your womanly emotions consume you. You don’t wanna end up like your mother now do you?

Itreya: (Truma Relapse) I’m not her…

Zenim: (Approving smile) That’s right go back to being the little submissive woman I love.

Amidst the murmurs, a couple stood strong,
Zenim's words resolute, unyielding, not 
wrong.
"Don't let emotions consume you, my love," 
he dared,
"Like your mother's fate, be aware, be 
prepared."

Itreya, caught in a moment, a relapse of old,
A specter from past, her heart's core, 
untold.
Yet Zenim's smile, approving and true,
Ignited a flame, as love often will do.

Back to being the little submissive woman,
Itreya returned, her spirit still human.
For in their union, a dance of their own,
Strength and vulnerability, in harmonious 
tone.

Two versions, two stories, love's intricate 
art,
Expressed through words, a delicate part.
For in their conversations, echoes of pain,
And in their connection, a love to sustain.

 

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Resilience Reborn

Prompt: Therapist: “Please we don’t want to hurt you.”

Patient: (Remembering every horrid thing they’ve been through finally screaming) Hurt…hurt me?  You will never hurt me again!!!

 

In a therapist’s gentle room, a patient seeks solace,
A heart weighed down, burdened by pain’s endless chase.
The therapist, with tender care, implores with concern,
“Please, we don’t want to hurt you,” their words softly yearn.

But deep within the patient’s soul, a tempest does ignite,
Memories of horrors endured, piercing through the night.
Every wound, every torment, etched upon their mind,
A haunting reel of suffering, too cruel and unkind.

Then, in a moment of truth, the dam finally breaks,
A scream of defiance, a vow that no one forsakes.
“Hurt me? Hurt me?” the patient’s voice resounds,
A declaration born from strength, no longer bound.

For within their battle-hardened spirit, a fire ignites,
A flame of resilience, burning through darkest nights.
The therapist listens, witnessing their soul unfold,
Touched by the rawness, the story yet untold.

“You will never hurt me again!” echoes through the air,
A proclamation of triumph, breaking free from despair.
In those words, a rebirth, a reclamation of power,
A testament to the patient’s resilience, hour after hour.

And the therapist, understanding the depths of the plea,
Respects the journey, as only a guide can truly see.
Together they walk, hand in hand, through healing’s door,
Creating a haven where wounds find solace and restore.

In that sacred space, where vulnerability finds its due,
A poem of survival blooms, crafted by hearts anew.
A testament to the patient’s courage, to their unyielding might,
For within their wounded soul, a warrior takes flight.

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

Telstra’s Resolve

“What are you doing? Why are you still holding…back?! Have you forgotten what they said to us? What they did? They think you’re a monster!! Prove them RIGHT!!!”

Telstra Spinx

In a moment of tempestuous plight,
Telstra’s powers flicker, a dormant might,
“What are you doing? Why hold back the flame?
Have you forgotten their words, their cruel game?

They label you a monster, an abhorrent sight,
But their ignorance blinds them from your true light.
Unleash the fury that dwells deep within,
Prove them right, let the storm begin!

For they know not the strength you possess,
The resilience within, the power to impress.
Rise, oh Telstra, embrace your might,
Unleash your essence, ignite the night!

No more shall their judgment chain you down,
No longer will you wear society’s frown.
With defiance as your guide, your spirit alight,
Prove them right, let your powers take flight!

Break the shackles, set your soul free,
Embrace the monster they claim you to be.
In your flames, their doubts shall ignite,
A testament to the power they failed to sight.

Oh Telstra, let their whispers fade,
Your destiny awaits, in darkness you wade.
Prove them right, let your strength unfurl,
For within your heart, an extraordinary world.”

Kizzie, Ersell Leave a comment

The Altered Destiny: Embracing the Unknown

Quote: “Wait. Somethings different. This isn’t the same noble hero I  fought before… no, you’ve changed. What have you… done?”

In the realm of battles, a moment of pause,
A voice whispers softly, a moment's cause,
Wait, something's different, a shift in the air,
The noble hero transformed, with secrets to bear.

This isn't the same, the warrior of old,
A change has befallen, a story yet untold,
In the depths of their being, a transformation unseen,
Leaving adversaries questioning, "What have you... done?"

Mysteries abound, veiled in the hero's gaze,
Their essence transformed, a new path they blaze,
No longer confined by what was once known,
A metamorphosis unfolding, a soul fully grown.

Eyes once shining bright, now carry a new light,
A strength from within, shining through the night,
The hero has changed, but their purpose holds true,
A different form, yet the mission they pursue.

Whispers of power, echoes of growth,
A journey uncharted, expanding both mind and oath,
Battles fought before, mere shadows of the past,
For the hero has evolved, a metamorphosis vast.

In awe and confusion, the adversaries stand,
Witnessing the shift, unable to understand,
What lies beneath the surface, what trials have been won,
Leaving them perplexed, in questioning stun.

But the hero, undeterred, embraces the unknown,
Embracing the change, the transformation they've sown,
For within the metamorphosis, a new strength is found,
A hero reborn, their purpose unbound.

So stand, noble hero, in your altered form,
For you've grown beyond expectations, a newfound norm,
Let the world marvel, as they witness you shine,
For the change within you, is a victory divine.

"What have you... done?" they ask in awe,
Unraveling the layers, discovering the hero's core,
A journey of growth, a transformation profound,
The hero stands changed, with strength unbound.
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