When we are in the act of stepping out of ourselves , we are choosing to extend Love and Grace even when it is hard to do so. Sometimes, the right thing to do is the hard thing to do. Sometimes, the right path to take is the hard path to take. A lot of times the way we feel is justified. The thing we took offense to is valid but “what do you do when what is unfair is your reality”. Over quarantine, I have had the privilege to enroll in a school called F.U.! It stands for Forgiveness University. It is a series on the process of forgiveness and its severity. We have had a total of 10 classes: The Gift of Forgiveness, Offenses Under-Construction, Forgiven Ultimately, Forgiveness Understood, Forgive yoU, Framing Unforgiveness, Forgiving Unfair, Fathers Unaware, Failure Useful, and Future Unlimited. Without forgiveness there is no way anyone could swimmingly transition into this upcoming year. According to the last class “Future Unlimited”,  some key points Pastor Todd shared consisted of “unforgiveness always limits your future”, “forgiveness always affects your future”, “forgiveness is releasing people of the debt”, “forgiveness is not about what they deserve, it is about what God deserves”, and “releasing the debt releases your future” (Todd,2020). Pastor Todd explains in another lecture that offense is the gateway to unforgiveness. “Offense is all around us and it is either picked up or put on. Will you pick it up? Or was it put on you?” He goes on to explain how offenses can always be laid down, forgiveness requires faith, and forgiveness is fundamental (primary, required) for our faith.

     A Lot has happened in 2020 from political uproars, riots, month long marches, viruses and more. All of these were surely offensive to many of us but since we cannot undo or go back in time, what are we left to do with what’s in front of us? Forgive. But, you cannot walk in love if you do not forgive. Love keeps no record of wrongs. You cannot love anyone if you are still holding on to any offenses. Many people only think of love as a feeling. Love is more an action than a feeling. For example, Jesus said that if we love Him, we must keep His commandments. We can agree that if someone loves us, they will do the things we ask them to do. In a marriage, If I say that in order for my husband to love me he cannot cheat, he cannot lie, never disrespect me, and always give me physical affection. Let’s say one day my husband and I get in an argument and right after I ask for hugs and kisses. In response, he looks at me, rolls his eyes and walks away. Him rejecting my request at that moment does not mean he doesn’t love me, he just didn’t FEEL the same way he felt for me before the argument. He COULD have ignored how he felt at that moment and still chose to act in love (hugs and kisses). Then he would have been stepping out of his temporary feelings and chose to show love with his actions. For Jesus, it may seem that He can ask things of us that are hard for us to do. Whether its lying, remaining celibate, always being kind, forgiving everyone despite the offense, and more. We will have to go against our temporary feelings to be able to act in love towards Him. 

     Stepping out of yourself, acting in love and extending grace go hand and hand. After all of the things that have happened this year, there is no way we can move forward without acting in love and extending grace. Time never stops and the years will still go by. If you do not choose to act tenderly, compassionately, in love and extend grace, you will stay stuck in the place of 2020 while time is moving on to 2021, 2022, 2023 and farther. Pastor Michael Todd said that “when you are stuck in unforgiveness, you are literally stuck and putting a pause on your future.” Any offenses that were before you in 2020, if you continue to move in unforgiveness, ignorance, bitterness, regret, guilt, anger, shame, disappointment, jealousy, anything negative, what you don’t allow God to transform, you will transfer. You will carry those same feelings, that same mindset into 2021 and years to come. Time will have passed but you will still be stuck in the mental/emotional place you were in in 2020. By definition, “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (“Holy Bible,” 2001) When we start to take ALL of love’s attributes and begin to extend grace in the upcoming year, we will become unshakeable, unmovable, unbreakable and living in a peaceful place.